Month: November 2007


So I had this $50 Best Buy gift card sitting around from our team's second place finish in the College Puzzle Challenge a few weeks ago, and was looking for some good Black Fridays deals to spend it on. Well, I didn't find any, but I decided to go for The Orange Box anyway (ended up paying $4.50 for it). A friend recently ripped a copy of Windows XP for me to run on my iMac, and I thought it was high time that I play *some* legitimate PC game (aside from Peggle).

Decided to launch Portal first, see what the hype is about.

So three hours later, my mind is going to melt and I'm taking a break.

But even then, I can't. I keep looking at my suitemate sitting in her chair and thinking of interesting places/orientations she would fly out if I stuck a portal under her chair and let her fall through.

And now that she's left the room because I told her just that and I think I freaked her out... I keep staring at blank spaces in my wall and mentally projecting blue or orange holes.

I need some sleep. And more Portal.

11/25/2007 - Inspirations

Foo Fighters - Long Road to Ruin

Crane & Co - Engraved Black and White Floral Correspondence Cards

Clothespins, line, and photos.

Life Updates - Malibu Fire and personal branding

This is the first time, in all the years of Malibu fires, that our family has had to evacuate. My sister called and asked if I wanted her to pack up anything for me -- aside from photos albums (which my mom reluctantly took care of), I only really asked for my flutes and guitar. I think I'm convincing myself that it's not likely our house will burn; the evacuation seems more of a precautionary measure than because of a direct threat. But still. It's unnerving.

In other news, I finally finished development on I have a hunch it's going to be increasingly important to have a strong internet presence, branding if you will, now that potential employers are Googling your name, etc. It's a good idea to have a collection of links to things on the internet that are indeed related to you, as opposed to some other person with a similar name.


It's like picking at a scab and opening up the wound over and over again. Mostly because you're curious, sometimes because it's ugly and you childishly pick it off to get rid of it only to have it bleed for a little then scab and get ugly again. 

And it just sits there, a gross set of bumps on your skin, and it's so easy, tempting even, to touch it, see if it's healed over underneath... just a little glimpse, promise. But it's not. It's still pretty ugly underneath, and now you've only succeeded in making it raw and open again.

It never really gets worse, but it doesn't get better either unless you leave it the fuck alone. I should know better by now.


I'm a girl who likes to dress up. Wear pretty skirts, put on a pair of heels, pick out a nice necklace. I have to admit that putting on a pretty outside makes me feel better on the inside. Is that bad? Is that unhealthy?

It's not just to get a reaction from other people. It's to feel like I'm put together - that I can do things. I'm comfortable with my own skin - but when I'm out and I feel like I look good, it's more than just comfort. It's saying to the world, "Here I am." I'm okay on the outside and you'll never know whether I'm okay on the inside.

Am I okay on the inside? I'm getting there.